How They Match Up

In a segment new to Rays the Stakes, we are going to look at how 2 things compare in a "tale of the tape." In the first installment, I want to see how beverages, businesses, and ballparks matchup. Today we shall look at Tropicana vs. Coors.

Beverage Type:
Tropicana – OJ
Coors – Beer
Advantage: Coors – Although I start every morning with a glass of Tropicana OJ, beer will always have the edge as a beverage

What you are left with a few hours after drinking a lot of the beverage:
Tropicana – A full bladder
Coors – A full bladder and an awesome story
Advantage: Coors - Do it for the story

How you feel the next day after drinking a lot of the beverage:
Tropicana – Healthy, your cold is gone
Coors – Hungover
Advantage: Tropicana - Hangovers suck.

Game best played with the beverage:
Tropicana – Any cheesy game to get your kid to drink it
Coors – Beer pong
Advantage: Coors – Beer pong always wins

How it’s transported (in theory):
Tropicana – The “Juice Train”
Coors – The “Silver Bullet Train” in the commercials that interrupts football games
Advantage: Push – Could one of you get original with your transportation and move the product by rocket ship? I’ll build it for you if you pay me enough.

What happens when you leave the beverage in the refrigerator too long:
Tropicana – Tastes bad, smells worse
Coors – Skunk
Advantage: Push - Nobody wins here

Other products made by parent companies:
Tropicana – Pepsi, Gatorade
Coors – Zima, Keystone Light
Advantage: Tropicana – If I could, I would count this as 2 wins

Biggest competitor:
Tropicana – Minute Maid
Coors – Busch/Miller
Advantage: Push – All of the above also have naming rights to ballparks

What happens when container gets cold:
Tropicana – Nothing
Coors – Can turns blue
Advantage: Tropicana - I don’t care what color my can is as long as my beer is cold. The blue can is just a waste of time

How the beverage compares to other alike beverages:
Tropicana – One of the best
Coors – Has no taste compared to good beer
Advantage: Tropicana – OJ all tastes alike, beer can be so much better than the Silver Bullet

Tastes good with:
Tropicana – An Omelet
Coors – Nachos
Advantage: Coors – Assuming there is chicken and guacamole

Product is made in:
Tropicana – Florida, the Sunshine State, gorgeous!
Coors – Denver “The sunshine state, gorgeous!” according to a drunken Luke Wilson in “Old School” (after probably having too much Coors)
Advantage: Tropicana – Made in the actual Sunshine State, and winter is no fun

Also sponsors:
Tropicana – The Bradenton Juice of the defunct South Coast Baseball League
Coors – The NFL, NASCAR, and 9 NHL teams
Advantage: Coors – Pepsi should market Tropicana more and its own products less

Biggest complaint about the ballpark by players:
Tropicana – “The catwalks got in the way”
Coors – “Even Gabe Kapler can go yard here”
Advantage: Coors – Chicks dig the long-ball

Biggest complaint about the ballpark by the fans:
Tropicana – “Indoor baseball in Florida in the summer?”
Coors – “Outdoor baseball in Colorado in April/September?”

Advantage: Tropicana – 72 degrees and no rain beats out freezing temperatures and snow

The turf at the stadium:
Tropicana – Takes a beating on outfielder’s knees
Coors – Elongated to prevent more doubles and triples
Advantage: Push – Rays hit 2 triples last night and outfielders have been healthy this year (knock on wood)

Random colored seats in the stadium stand for:
Tropicana – Gold seat is where Wade Boggs hit a homerun for his 3000th hit
Coors – Purple row in the upper deck marks the exact height of 1 mile elevation
Advantage: Tropicana – Wade Boggs claims he could down 70 Coors in a day, he wins

Restaurant in the stadium:
Tropicana - Cuesta-Rey Cigar Bar
Coors - Blue Moon Brewery at the Sandlot
Advantage: Coors – Blue Moon was invented here, and that’s a damn good beer

Stadium has also hosted:
Tropicana – NCAA Final Four
Coors – MLB All-star Game
Advantage: Tropicana – One of the best sporting events of every season (author’s note/brag: I was there in 1999 when UCONN beat Duke, heck of a game)

Animal findings within the stadium:
Tropicana – Stingray tank
Coors – Dinosaur fossils found during construction
Advantage: Coors – This is close since the stingray tank always gets Erin Andrews extra airtime when ESPN broadcasts Rays’ games, but the historical perspective of finding dinosaur fossils gives Coors the edge.

The home team’s best season:
Tropicana – 2008 Rays make the World Series
Coors – 2007 Rockies make the World Series
Advantage: Tropicana – The Rays were more recent…and they won a game in the series

The better home team in 2009:
Tropicana – Rays are 35-31
Coors – Rockies are 31-33
Advantage: Tropicana – Let’s not forget the Rays currently lead the season series 1-0

Final Standings:
Tropicana 10
Coors 8
Push 4

There you have it folks, Tropicana barely squeezes out a victory over Coors. This is just how I see it; it’s not like it’s rocket science.

-The Rocket Scientist

Mr. Kotter vs. Mr. Ruth

Up until last week, Gabe Kapler played baseball like he was Mr. Kotter, a Social Studies teacher who was known for his good intentions in the TV show “Welcome Back Kotter” and was played by actor Gabe Kaplan. As we all know, Kapler had stopped playing baseball and was learning the ropes as a manager (cough, teacher, cough) in the minor leagues. Last season, he decided he wanted to return to the big leagues and played for the Brewers and continued his mission to play solid baseball into 2009. Kapler signed in the offseason with the Rays for $1,000,018 to be a platoon right fielder and right handed bat. Although his intentions were great, and he played solid defense, he was still batting .169 with 0 homeruns and 5 RBIs after a game in New York on June 6.

Then, on June 8 against the Yankees, Gabe Kapler came to the plate with the Rays down a run and Michel Hernandez on base. Boom, gone, homerun! At the time, I compared this hit to being able to toast an Eggo. I wasn’t going to look too much into one homerun. The following thought never crossed my mind:

Is it possible that Gabe Kapler found his swing?

Has Gabe Kapler gone from Gabe Kaplan to “Gabe” Ruth?

Now with 2 more games played, 2 more homeruns hit, an RBI total doubled, and a batting average finally over the Mendoza line, Kapler is finally looking like he is worth $18, not to mention that extra $1,000,000. Gabe Kapler has been mashing like he is the Great Gambino over the last 3 games. I do not expect Kapler to continue to play like Ruth, but I do think he needs to continue to play less like Kotter. The batting average needs to continue to increase and merge closer to .250. The RBI’s must be boosted to reasonable numbers for a number 6 or 7 hitter. And finally, Kapler must avoid the embarrassing moments (such as stopping between 3rd base and home, or striking out to Yankees’ ace pitcher Nick Swisher).

I know I have been one of your biggest critics this season, but I am willing to cut you some slack. Gabe, I plead you this: please continue to improve on your performance with every game you play. If you can be a consistent right-handed bat in the bottom of the lineup, it will go a long way towards carrying the Rays back to October baseball. If you digress, you are going to leave a large hole in the lineup that will be hard for this team to overcome. You don’t have be Gabe Ruth, but you can’t be Gabe Kaplan either. All Rays’ fans will be happy with you performing somewhere in the middle, and figuring out why this will help the team isn’t rocket science.

-The Rocket Scientist

An Open Letter To The Rays

Dear Rays’ Players and Coaches,

Congratulations, you have swept the Nationals, won 5 in a row, and now are only 3 games behind the hated Yankees, 5 behind the Red Sox. Now here is your goal for this week: KEEP IT UP. You are starting to play great baseball. You are getting help from players who struggled through the beginning stages of this season. You got your right handed power bat off the DL and your starting shortstop will be rejoining the team tomorrow. The time to create something really special, the time to get hot, the time to make 09>08 is RIGHT NOW. You are going to be playing a Colorado Rockies team that has won 11 in a row. Winning this series on the road would be a statement to the entire league. Gaining more ground on these teams during interleague play will send them a message. Now is the time to show that 2008 was not a fluke and that you are for real in 2009. There can be no more playing uninspired ball and no more excuses. In the words of the late US Hockey coach Herb Brooks, “This is YOUR time.”

To keep up the hot streak, here is what I believe each of you needs to do over the next week against the Rockies and Mets.

Joe Maddon – Coach to win every game. You can’t unnecessarily rest any players as you have another day off next Monday. Stay aggressive.

Jim Hickey – Ask for 6-7 innings from each of your starters.

Bobby Ramos – Whatever you’ve been doing for the last few days, keep doing it. The bullpen has not allowed a run over the 5 game winning streak. Keep up anything close to that and this team will continue to win a lot.

Tom Foley – Keep sending runners home and making outfielders make perfect throws.

George Hendrick – Make CC and BJ Upton steal every they are on 1st and 2nd base is empty. Yes, I said every time.
Steve Henderson – Whatever you’ve been doing with the Gabes, keep doing it, and add Dionner Navarro to that workout regiment.

Winston Abreu – Have a solid first outing. You haven’t pitched in the majors in 2 years, but you were destroying AAA. A solid first outing will give you the confidence you need to move forward.

Grant Balfour – Pound the strike-zone, and if possible, add some juice to that fastball.

Randy Choate – Continue to fool lefties and please stop walking batters.

Lance Cormier – Be ready to shut down a rally when a pitcher can’t make it those 6-7 innings.

J.P. Howell – You may be the new closer, so stay loose and ready for the 9th. The team needs you to be solid.

Joe Nelson – Since giving up 4 runs against the Indians on May 27th, you haven’t allowed a base-runner in 6.2 innings. I know that’s impossible to continue forever, but anything close to that will really prove your worth.

Dan Wheeler- I only have a mild heart attack when you enter the game. Stop making me even think there is a chance you may blow a lead when your number is called.

Matt Garza – A gem. I know you have solid starts in you against the NL (see: the Marlins gem last year). You are due for another.

Jeff Niemman – Your last 3 starts have gone 3 innings, 9 innings, and 3.2 innings. I won’t ask for the 9 again, but how about 6?

David Price – Stop walking batters. Don’t be afraid to pound the strike zone. Your stuff is electric. Trust it.

James Shields – A solid game on the road. You only pitch once on the road trip, and you will have 5 days rest, so step it up and pitch like the number 1 starter.

Andy Sonnanstine – Thank Joe Maddon (or the schedule maker) that you aren’t pitching in Colorado. Now please, can you keep the ball in the park?

Michel Hernandez – You continue to be a solid backup for Navarro, but it would be nice if you threw out another base stealer.

Dionner Navarro – Stop bunting with 2 outs.

Willy Aybar – Starting in the 5th inning, go into the batting cages and get loose. In the NL parks, I guarantee you will be pinch hitting a few times over the next 6 games.

Jason Bartlett – Remind the fans how much we missed you while you were on the DL, and show everyone why you deserve to be an all-star.

Joe Dillon – See: Willy Aybar.

Evan Longoria – You only have 3 RBI’s since your pulled hamstring. That number needs to increase. Your mission, if you shall choose to accept it, is to become the AL leader in RBI’s again. Jason Bay has you by 3 right now.

Carlos Pena – 3 games in the mile high altitude means it is time for you to tee off.

Carl Crawford – Run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run run.

Gabe Gross – If you can throw out another runner or 2 to go with your random clutch hits, it will go a long way towards adding numbers in the win column.

Gabe Kapler – (In the voice of Stewie Griffin) “Good news! I don’t have to kill you now!” Seriously though, you’ve hit 3 homeruns in your last 3 games? I like it. Now keep getting on base and prove to me it’s not a stroke of luck, and then I won’t hate you as much.

Ben Zobrist – Whatever you have been doing, don’t stop.

Pat Burrell – Hit a homerun. You have 3 games in Colorado and 3 games against your former hated rival in the Mets. Just one time, please hit the ball out of the park.

So there it is. If each of you does what I have said, this team will be on the back to October Baseball. This is my mission for you all, and I hope you can not only reach the goals set forth, but exceed them. Getting it done is not rocket science.

Sincerely
-The Rocket Scientist

PS: For those of you who were wondering, I did not cash in the WSOP event that I played. I got most of my chips in with top 2 pair against a guy with pocket aces. The bottom card on the flop paired and I couldn’t recover. Sigh....

The Rocket Scientist’s Random Pre-Vacation Thoughts

Another week is ending, and another vacation is coming up. Before I head to Vegas for the weekend, I have more random thoughts on the Rays and some other random sports to leave you with.

The Rays swept the Royals and won the first game against the Yankees, then lost 3 games in a row. As the season goes on, streaks like this are taking 1 step forward and 3 steps backwards.

Carlos Pena may really be Pedro Cerrano. He needs to forget Jobu and do it himself.

I LOVE LeVon Washington’s desire to play for the Rays. I know nothing about him, other than what I have read in the last 12 hours, but I can tell he is going to give 110%. The Rays need people in like that in their organization right now. Hopefully Scott Boras lets him sign before August.

I really need to see “The Hangover.”

I am very happy BJ Upton had enough fire to get himself ejected last night. It didn’t affect the outcome of the game and the strike-zone was questionable at best in the 9th. It also shows to me that Upton has a fire beneath him and really wants to win. I was surprised and disappointed that Joe Maddon didn’t argue enough to follow Upton to the clubhouse. Maddon needs to put up a bumper sticker in the dugout that says “WWBCD.” (What would Bobby Cox do?)

“Sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods” (song by Dan Bern, but I have the same thought).

Jeff Niemman is growing on me, quickly. I think he may have some down days, but he is improving and could develop into a very nice number 3 pitcher.

Andy Sonnanstine is killing me, quickly. I think he may have some up days, but he is regressing and needs to develop some sort of hamstring injury that he can work out in the minors. In unrelated news, Wade Davis is tearing it up in AAA still.

Tim Floyd resigning from USC isn’t shady at all, kinda like Roger Clemens “misremembering conversations” or Sammy Sosa forgetting how to speak English. His next job will be Isiah Thomas’ assistant at FIU.

Ben Zobrist is making a serious bid to be an all-star in my mind. Joe Maddon selecting the backups won’t hurt his chances…unless…

Joe Maddon really may pick very few Rays to be all-stars and Rays fans need to be prepared for this. He loves giving extra rest to players, and the all-star break is a perfect time for rest. If I were a betting man (and I am) would bet that he is going to send 2, at most 3 Rays’ players to the game when 4 may deserve to go.

To that quarterback who used to play for the Packers and has retired and unretired about 84214533 times: please go away. Everyone is tired of you and it’s not like you are the player you were 5 years ago. I refuse to say your name until a full NFL season goes by without you playing a single down…or until I watch “There’s Something About Mary” again.

Evan Longoria hasn’t looked the same at the plate since his hamstring injury. He has, however, been looking great in the field and one can only wonder what would have happened if Willy Aybar hadn’t been playing third in the 8th inning Sunday against the Yankees.

If the Rays don’t take 2 out of 3 from the Nationals this weekend, I am going to be frantically hitting my metaphorical panic button. I still might hit that button if the Rays don’t sweep the Nationals.

What do you think Elijah Duke’s welcome will be the first time he bats at the Trop this weekend? My guess is he gets pelted with eggs, baseballs, and demands for child support payments.

I refuse to call Pat Burrell a bust (yet) due to his injury and tendency to be streaky; however his signing and $9 million salary may have handcuffed the Rays. It is quite evident that the bullpen is struggling more than Screech Powers trying to get together with Lisa Turtle. Having some leeway to make a trade for a dominant bullpen arm could be the difference between playing in October and holding 2010 tryouts in September. Andrew Friedman’s hands are tied and he won’t be able to add the help that this team seems to desperately need. In related news, I actually think a healthy Chad Bradford would be an upgrade in the Rays’ current bullpen.

There are very few sporting events better than a game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. One of the best games I’ve ever been to, and will ever go to, was game 7 of the Lightning vs. Flames series.

Where have you gone: Grant Balfour’s fastball? Dan Wheeler’s command? Carlos Pena’s glove? Joe DiMaggio?
Reid Brignac JUST missed connecting on a ball last night for a homerun. I would really like to see him get that first shot and see what he can do when his confidence rises.

Is there anything more frustrating then “buffering” while listening to streaming radio? Well, I can think of a few things, like a crying baby on an airplane or people who use “The Milkshake Song” as a cell phone ring, but it’s close.

Gabe Kapler hit a homerun in the wind-tunnel known as Yankee Stadium. I rank that accomplishment along the line of toasting Eggos.
Gabe Kapler still sucks and hopefully will be the odd man out when Burrell comes off the disabled list.

I am headed to Vegas this weekend and will be playing in the World Series of Poker Event 24, $1500 no-limit hold ‘em event. I will provide results when I get back. Wish me luck!

-The Rocket Scientist

Why Joe? Why?

If last night’s game were a movie, the scene titled “The Hamstring” would have been written perfectly.

First, there was the buildup. As the credits were rolling, they showed a newspaper clip saying that Evan Longoria was now leading the entire American League in all-star votes. Then the lineup card was released. Batting third, designated hitter, Evan Longoria.

Why is Longoria the designated hitter, Joe? Why

Next, there were lingering questions. Evan Longoria was the DH, not playing his usual 3B position (props to Joe for getting the lineup card correct). Why was he only batting and why was his potential gold glove not in the field? He just had a day off, and if he is healthy enough to swing a bat and run to first, why can’t he throw a ball?

Why is Longoria the designated hitter, Joe? Why?

Then, there was the answer and the foreshadowing. Zoom in on that strapping young lad Todd Kalas. He described that Longoria felt strange as the DH, that he was struggling to stay loose, and that he couldn’t wait to get back into the field. You can just hear in the background the stadium PA announcer say “Leading off the 6th inning, your designated hitter, Evan Longoria.”

Why is Longoria the designated hitter, Joe? Why?

Like clockwork, the climax happened. Longoria hits a ground ball to third baseman Mark Teahan. Like the hard-nosed player that he is, he is running hard towards first. The ball gets to first, pounding the mitt of Billy Butler. First Base Umpire Larry Vanover pumps his fist and yells “You’re out!” Then, two steps shy of first base, the run slows down to a trot, the grimace appears on his face, and the left hand quickly grabs the hamstring. The hearts of the audience collectively sink as that feeling sinks in. Everyone can see it plain as day, Evan Longoria is hurt.

Why WAS Longoria the designated hitter, Joe? Why?

In the wise words of Hamilton Porter, “YOU’RE KILLING ME SMALLS!” I always hated all of the extra days off because I believed that Maddon was not giving the Rays the best chance to win. I can understand giving Navarro a break for a day game after a night game, or why a bullpen pitcher should be unavailable if worked too hard, or taking a starting pitcher out of a game if his pitch count is too high, or even giving a position player a day off in the middle of a stretch of many games in a row. Giving a player get a break on the day before or after a scheduled day off drives me crazy. These are all young men in their 20’s, not their 40’s. The players have a rhythm they like to keep up. The more they play the looser they are. It’s not September of a season that is a lost cause; it’s June and the Rays are only 6 games out. The players want to be on the field. The players actually perform better when playing consistently. And now we can see that the players stay healthier by being on the field.

Why WAS Longoria the designated hitter, Joe? Why?

The regular starting players need to play and play often to be at the top of their game. The regular starting players need to play and play often to stay in a rhythm and stay healthy. The regular starting players need to play and play often to give the Rays the best possible chance to win. Anyone can figure that out, it’s not rocket science.

-The Rocket Scientist

GIVE ME ONE REASON...

...That Andy Sonnanstine is starting tonight.

I refuse to be results-based with my judgments of Joe Maddon. I am not going to wait to see what happens tonight with Andy Sonnanstine’s performance before I second-guess the manager. I am going to question the decision to send him out to the hill RIGHT NOW, before the game. I hope to Boggs that I am wrong about this, but I see no reason whatsoever that Andy Sonnanstine is pitching tonight.

Do any of you have any confidence that the Rays will win tonight’s game with Sonnanstine on the hill? More importantly, do any of the other players in the lineup think the Rays will win the game with Sonnanstine pitching?

Sonnanstine was very serviceable last season and worked well as a number 5 pitcher. He averaged 6 innings a start, held opponents to a .277 average and only walked 37 all season. He ended the season 13-9 and his ERA was 4.38. These numbers are solid for a number 5 starter.

In 10 starts this season, he is averaging just about 5 innings per start, he is allowing an alarming batting average of .340, and has already walked 16 batters. In 2008, it was his 15th start before he walked his 16th batter. His current record is 3-5, and his ERA is 7.66.

I don’t want too much out of Sonnanstine. I ask for 6 innings of 3-4 runs. If he gives the Rays that consistently, he will have a winning record. So far in 2009, he cannot do that.
The season is already a third of the way over. How long of a leash can we give this guy? Joe Maddon preaches patience for all of his players. In the case of a starting pitcher who struggles to get out of the 5th inning and can’t hold a 5 run lead, how patient can a manager afford to be? Is it better to be too tolerant and let the problem fix itself or be proactive and not set the team up for failure? I would say that Maddon should be patient and let Sonnanstine fix the problem IF Andy were showing signs of improvement. He looked good against Florida, but Sonnanstine was also spotted 13 runs by the 4th inning and the game was over, he had no worries. In Sonnanstine’s next outing, he was given a 5 run cushion against Cleveland in the 1st in what seemed to be a recipe for success. By the time his outing ended, he had lost the lead, giving up 8 runs in 3 short innings. The Rays lost 12-7, unable to recover from Sonnanstine’s poor outing. In Sonnanstine’s last 4 starts, the only game in which he gave up less than 5 runs was the Florida blowout. Sonnanstine is regressing, not improving. Having fallen 6 games back in the AL East, Joe Maddon needs to start managing with a sense of urgency. If he keeps preaching patience, come early October we all will already be patiently waiting for pitchers and catchers to report.

The other reason that Andy Sonnanstine should not be starting tonight is because Joe Maddon has other and better alternatives. Maddon’s first option would be to just have Sonnanstine skip his start. Yesterday was an off day, meaning that Jeff Niemman (who has been steadily improving in case you didn’t notice) could pitch today on normal rest. This could give Sonnanstine that kick in the rear that he needs to find his game. Another choice would be to call up a pitcher from the minors and let Sonnanstine find his game in Durham. Sonnanstine has 3 options and does not have enough Major League service to require permission to be sent down. Both Wade Davis and Carlos Hernandez are very close to earning a spot on the big league club. I trust either of these pitchers to at least give the Rays a chance to win in a game that they start. Right now, I don’t have that same faith in Andy Sonnanstine.

As I said earlier, I really hope I get proven wrong. I hope Sonnanstine throws a gem that reinstates our confidence in him and forces Joe Maddon to keep him in the rotation. I don’t see that happening. If you want to try to convince me that you believe in Andy Sonnanstine and you believe he has a solid chance tonight, I would also love to hear your argument as to why you believe OJ was innocent. Please, Joe Maddon, give me one reason as to why Andy Sonnanstine is starting tonight. I don’t think you can, and the rationale for this is not rocket science.

-The Rocket Scientist

The Rocket Scientists’ Random Post-Vacation Thoughts

Before I left the country for all of last week, I left with a listing of headlines I would like to see. Some of these came true, most did not. After being disconnected from the internet and TV for 8 days, I have now caught up on a lot of what happened over the last week, and here are my random thoughts.

-I highly recommend the vacation I took to all of you. I went sailing with my family for a week in the British Virgin Islands. It was an unbelievable experience and one of the best vacations I have ever taken. (Author’s note: Thanks again mom and dad!)

-The Rays Republic is everywhere. I was wearing my Rays’ cap while hiking The Baths in Virgin Gorda. I was asked by a couple to take a picture of them. Why did they ask me? The guy was also wearing a Rays’ hat. That pumped me up. I love seeing Rays’ fans everywhere! (Author’s note: If the person who asked me to take this picture is reading this, please comment so we can get in touch and compare trips. I hope yours was as good as mine).

-Blowing a 10 run lead is inexcusable. I don’t want to hear about momentum shifts or the other team hitting well, just save it. There is no reason for the bullpen to not be able to get 3 outs without giving up 6 runs. That is a travesty and I am very happy I did not watch that game. Games like this may come back to haunt the Rays later this season.

-I feel really bad for Jason Bartlett. This injury might cost him a well-deserved trip to the all-star game. I hope people come to their senses and realize he absolutely deserves a trip to St. Louis, even if he misses 3 weeks. There are so many reasons for this, but his MLB leading .373 batting average is a major reason. The Rays NEED this guy back as soon as humanly possible.

-I feel so worse for Aki. Aki has given his heart and soul to this team. He has played his heart out for a losing team, then learned a new position and played stellar defense. I can’t think of a less deserving player to tear his knee. I wish him the best in his recovery. In the event the Rays do not pick up his option next season, I want to thank him for giving 100% to the Rays all the time.

-Carl Crawford finally got caught stealing after getting picked off at 1st. Although it’s not a good thing, I love that he still went for 2nd and ended up running into an out. It was an aggressive out and not a base-running mistake. Keep it up CC.

-If Evan Longoria can really get on a prolonged hot streak, the sky is the limit for him this season. I just looked at the stats this week and saw he now has 55 RBI’s on the season, 6 more than the next highest in the majors.

-I think I am going to be the only person in LA cheering for the Magic.

-I asked for a 3 game hitting streak from BJ Upton. Well, he currently has a 5 game hitting streak. That’s a good start. However, in those 5 games, he has 6 strikeouts and 2 walks. I would be much happier if those numbers were closer to even. Still, his average is finally over the Mendoza Line (.200), hopefully now he can keep inching it forward to .250 and beyond.

-Speaking of players who have been slumping, I found Navarro’s stats from this past week, but haven’t really heard much about his play. Does he still play with his head not in the game?

-How long is Andy Sonnanstine’s leash? If he has another bad game, it may be time for him to head to the pen and give Wade Davis a chance. He can’t be any worse.

-Scott Kazmir is throwing off a mound already. That’s probably a good thing, as I’d love for the kid to come back stronger than ever. However, the thing he really needs to find (other than the strike zone) is his confidence. I actually would like him to face some inferior competition so he gets the swagger back that he had in 2007.

-Troy Percival, please just do us all a favor and retire.

-I am loving everything I have read about JP Howell’s week. He can go a long way to solidifying the bullpen. I also noticed that Grant Balfour pitched 2.2 innings of solid ball Saturday, but his pitches were still down around 94. Where is that 98mph heat that we saw last year?

-I would love to go out for a beer with Dale Thayer.

-Randy Choate is doing his job nicely, filling in for injured Brian Shouse. In fact, he is going to make Joe Maddon make a tough decision as to who he keeps when Shouse is healthy.

-How did Gabe Kaplan make the team over Matt Joyce? If Ben Zobrist isn’t going to be an everyday right fielder, I am excited for the day that Matt Joyce has that job. I also think it is way too early to judge the Joyce for Jackson trade, even though Jackson just pitched (another) gem. Give it time, this trade should even out.

-What will happen first? Pigs fly or Rays win in Cleveland?

-Who is Joe Dillon? Where did he come from?

-Jeff Niemman is getting better every start. Although his last start was cut short due to a rain delay, I see he struck out 4 in 3 innings and only walked one. Niemman’s season started off rough, but I am gaining more and more confidence in him as the season progresses. More importantly, he looks like he is gaining confidence in himself as well.

-Anyone else smile when the pitching matchups for this series came out and Zack Grienke was not on the list of Royals’ scheduled pitchers?

-It is time for Reid Brignac to step his game up.

-11 out of 17 outs in David Price’s last performance were strikeouts? Damn.

-The Rays are currently 5.5 games out of first in the AL East. If they can put together a few weeks of solid, inspired baseball, that deficit can be easily overcome. The key word is if. This team needs 100% effort from all 25 players on the roster, not just 5-10. It also needs a manager who goes for the win every game and who isn’t looking ahead to September. In my opinion, the Rays have not had a combination of those over a consistent basis this season the way they did in 2008. Where is the passion and desire? The Rays have all the tools they need. I think now is as good of a time as any to put it all together. That’s just my thought though, it’s not rocket science.

-The Rocket Scientist

Headlines I Would Like To See When I Get Back From Vacation

I will be traveling out of the country for the next 8 days. When I get back home and look to catch up on Rays’ news, here are some headlines I would like to see in no particular order:

• Andy Sonnanstine Hits Go-Ahead Homerun to Squish the Fish
• Crawford Steals 7 Bases in Game
• Marlins’ Attendance Reaches Triple Digits for the Season
• Marlins Attacked by Landshark Stadium
• Dale Thayer Gets 1st MLB Save with 1-2-3 9th
• Reid Brignac Gets Huge Pinch Hit Single in 2009 Debut
• Delmon Young Throws Helmet at Umpire, Misses, Still Suspended 50 Games
• Pat Burrell Goes Yard Twice in Return from DL
• Scott Kazmir Admits he Can’t Find “The Issue,” Accepts Minor League Assignment
• Joe Maddon is on 13 Game Streak of Filling out Lineup Card Correctly
• BJ Upton is on 3 Game Hitting Streak
• Stu Sternberg Does not have Swine Flu, Instead has a Fever, And Only Prescription is More Cowbell
• Evan Longoria Drives in 5 as Rays Dominate
• Indians’ Carl Pavano Still Laughing about Stealing Steinbrenner’s Money
• Ohio Demands to Become a Canadian Province
• Jeff Niemman Continues to Improve, Strikes Out 7 in Win
• Gabe Kapler Names Himself Manager of Charlotte Stone Crabs, Names Self Starting RF
• Jason Bartlett Hits for the Cycle
• Jason Bartlett Leads Game Off with Homerun
• Indians' Ed Harris and Pedro Cerrano Settle Argument: Harris Throws Curve Ball to Jesus Christ. The Messiah Swings and Misses.
• Dan Wheeler Blows Lead…Again. Offense Bails Him Out in 9th…Again.
• Gabe Gross Disgusted at his Sick Game
• Kazmir Hits Victor Martinez in the Face, Gets Suspended 15 Games
  (Author’s note: this wouldn’t be a bad thing at all, and I should add this to the Kazmir options in yesterday’s post)
• Jorge Cantu Remembers who he is, Gets Golden Sombrero in Rays Victory
• Joe Mauer to Take Weekend Off Due to Pink-Eye, Navarro Questioned in Farting on his Pillow
• Dionner Navarro Goes on Hunger Strike
• Jason Bartlett and Ben Zobrist Challenge Pat Burrell to Homerun Derby
• Yankees go on Losing Streak after A-Rod’s 50 Game Suspension
• Willy Aybar hits Homerun at Meaningful Time
• Troy Percival Retires, Wants to Play Handball with Jake Plummer. Bullpen Holds Lead for Win
• Indians’ Willy Mays Hayes Hits Ball in the Air, Does 25 Pushups in Batters Box
• David Price Named AL Rookie of the Week
• Andy Sonnanstine Lowers ERA to 6.85
• Lebron James Shows up to Indians-Rays Game Wearing Rays’ Hat, Rumors Fly
• Matt Garza Listens to “I Love it When you Call me Big Papa” on his IPod While Pitching, Flirts with No-Hitter, Shuts Out Indians
• Zorilla Strikes Again!
• Carlos Pena First Major Leaguer to 20 Homeruns
• Joe Magrane Quits MLB Network, Comes Back to Rays’ Booth
• Lakers Lose in 5 (ok this doesn’t have anything to do with the Rays, but I’m just really sick and tired of Lakers fans)
• Akinori Iwamura Turns Unassisted Triple Play
• Grant Balfour’s Fastball Hits 97 as he Strikes-Out 5
• Rays on a Roll, Looking Like ’08 Team Again.

If a few of these actually happen, I will be quite happy. If I had to pick one to see, it would be the last one. Who knows if these will come true. Predicting the future isn't rocket scienice.

A Ranking System For The Position Players

A few weeks ago, I ranked the bullpen using my own ranking system, developed entirely by rocket science. Today, I am going to rank the position players using a random yet fitting system that only I (or Bill Simmons) could come up with, movie quotes. Since the Rays were like a little pest who stayed in the way of the big guns who kept trying to take over, they reminded me of Bruce Willis in Die Hard. While Hans Gruber and his team were using their high priced weapons to take over Nakatomi Plaza, John McClane (Willis) kept thwarting their plans by staying in the way while staying out of the way, eventually killing the terrorists off one by one. Does that not sound like the Rays to you? In honor of one of the most underappreciated movies of all time, here is the ranking system for the position players.

1- “He’s still alive, only John could drive a man that crazy.” – Every time you step up to the plate, I just want to break things.

2 –
Dr Hasseldorf: “Well, Gail, by this time the hostages should be going through the early
stages of the Helsinki Syndrome.”
Harvey Johnson: “As in Helsinki, Sweden” – You just make yourself look like an idiot.

3 – “Hans, Bubi, I’m your white knight” – You are a career defensive replacement or backup, and should never be anything more than that. Your only role should be to come into the game in the end to try to save the day or give a starter a day off.

4 – “Oh my God the quarterback is toast!” – You are a regular starter, but wow are you struggling. You haven’t hit as well as you should or you haven’t really shown up in the field as well as you can. However, you have shown in the past that you were once good and can break out. You also may potentially be on the disabled list.

5 – “Welcome to the party pal!” –You have been an average player or even a backup for your entire career and now you are stepping up in clutch situations at the plate and in the field. You should be a regular starter. You probably can play more than 2 positions in the field as well. As Rays fans, we welcome you with open arms.

6 – “Now I know what a TV dinner feels like” – You are heating up and have been stepping up in clutch situations. Now it’s time to really turn on the heat.

7 – “Hit it again!” – You are a homerun hitter, and when you are on fire, you are unstoppable. However, when you are missing the ball, you are striking out far too often. So please, “Hit it again!”

8 – “I’m an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane” – You are stealing everything, including stealing bases, stealing away hits from your opponents, and stealing the hope away from the other team.

9 – “Now I have a machine gun, ho ho ho” – You were an above-average player for most of your career, and now you are just tearing it up. You absolutely should be an all-star.

10 – “Yippie-ki yay, Mr. Falcon” (censored version) – You are a stud, can be trusted in any situation at the plate, whether a clutch homerun or just an RBI single is needed. You have an outstanding glove. If all goes right, you might be on your way towards on MVP season.

Here is how the players rank:

Catchers

Michel Hernandez : 3 - “Hans, Bubi, I’m your white knight” – Hernandez has been great off the bench. He has stepped up in clutch situations, has hit pretty well, and has been solid behind the plate. However, Hernandez is still the backup catcher. If it’s playoff time, I’d still trust Navarro behind the plate. If Hernandez keeps playing as well as he has though, he may be ranked a 5 quickly. Having only played 9 games out of a potential 40, that’s not enough yet to give Hernandez a higher ranking yet.

Dionner Navarro: 4 - “Oh my God the quarterback is toast!” – I have detailed Navarro’s struggles before. Although Navarro has improved since the first 2 weeks of the season, he still is not hitting or fielding to his potential. It is time to really step it up Navi, now. Batting .179 is just not going to cut it for the season.

Infielders

Willy Aybar: 3 – “Hans, Bubi, I’m your white knight” – I was struggling with whether Aybar fit as a 3 or a 5. The determining factor between the rankings is that I don’t think Aybar should be an everyday starter when the entire roster is healthy. There are better players on the roster and it is holding Aybar back a bit. However, Aybar is a very solid option off the bench. He can play multiple positions in the field and is a switch hitter. With Pat Burrell currently on the DL, Aybar can really step his game up though and turn himself into a 5 or even a 6 quickly.

Jason Bartlett: 9 – “Now I have a machine gun, ho ho ho” – If Bartlett doesn’t make the all-star team, then the system is flawed. He is hitting .384, has 5 homeruns, 22 RBI’s, an on base percentage of .423, and 11 stolen bases. In terms of American League Shortstops, he ranks 1st in batting average, homeruns, RBI’s, stolen bases, and on base percentage, 2nd in doubles and triples, and 7th in fielding percentage. If he keeps these stats up, he can easily become a 10 on these rankings very soon. Last year’s team MVP is working his way towards more deserved honors.

Akinori Iwamura in the field: 4 – “Oh my God the quarterback is toast!” – This may be harsh for Aki, but his alligator-skin glove has not been as sharp as it had been in years past. Aki has 5 errors already this season, while he had 7 errors in each of the last 2 seasons.

Akinori Iwamura at the plate: 6 – “Now I know what a TV dinner feels like” – It would not be fair to rank a .291 hitter who is a regular starter at a below average rating. Aki has been hovering between .277 and .300 most of the season, and that is excellent for a batter at the bottom of the lineup. His 15 RBI’s show he is producing from the 7-8-9 spots, and have added many needed runs for the Rays at unexpected times.

Evan Longoria: 10 – “Yippie-ki yay, Mr. Falcon” (censored version) – Is there anything the 2008 AL Rookie of the Year doesn’t do well? If the Rays make the playoffs this year, Longoria is going to lead this team there. When that happens, his name will be in MVP discussions. By the time Longoria’s career is done, he is going need a trophy room, not just a shelf.

Carlos Pena: 7 – “Hit it again!” – When Pena is hot, nothing can stop him. There is a very good reason Pena leads the AL in homeruns. However, he has not hit a ball out of the yard since May 7. When Pena gets cold, he strikes out way too much. You are due for a hot steak Pena, so please, “hit it again!” If you don’t hit a homerun, can you please at least make contact with the ball?

Outfielders

Carl Crawford: 8 – “I’m an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane” – 24 stolen bases, 0 times caught stealing, and we are just a quarter of the way through the season. Crawford probably can’t keep this pace up, but I won’t be surprised if he gets close to 100 stolen bases on the season. He is a reason to watch games. Oh yeah, his .327 average is tied for 11th in the AL and only has 1 error on the season. Crawford is going to force the front office to pick up his $10,000,000 option at the end of this season if he keeps this up.

Gabe Gross: 3 – “Hans, Bubi, I’m your white knight” – You are the epitome of Maddon’s “white knight.” All you should do is come in to play RF in the 8th and 9th inning in a game in which the Rays lead is within 3 runs. Your .254 batting average and your .365 on base percentage is keeping you away from a lower rating.

Gabe Kapler: 2 –
Dr Hasseldorf: “Well, Gail, by this time the hostages should be going through the early
stages of the Helsinki Syndrome.”
Harvey Johnson: “As in Helsinki, Sweden”
- Kapler is hitting .212. He may be slightly faster than Gabe Gross, but Gross has a better arm and glove. Ben Zobrist is a better hitter. Kapler isn’t being developed into a future player. He keeps making himself look dumb at the plate. Gabe Kapler is dead weight on this team and look for him to be the first to go when Matt Joyce is ready.

B.J. Upton: 6 – “Now I know what a TV dinner feels like” – If I had done these rankings last week, Upton would be a 4 for sure. However, Upton is finally starting to hit the ball better. He had 2 homeruns, including a walk-off homerun, in the weekend series against the Indians. Upton has 2 games in the last week in which he got 3 hits. If he can keep this up, the average will soon make its way over the Mendoza Line. Baby steps, BJ.

Ben Zobrist: 5 – “Welcome to the party pal!” – I have written before that Zobrist should be the everyday Right Fielder. He still is in a platoon with the ambiguously Gabe duo. I do really believe that if Zobrist were to be an everyday starter, he would continue to improve. I want to see Zobrist continue how well he is playing over a long period of time before he moves up in the rankings. Maddon needs to first look at Zobrist and say, “Welcome to the everyday lineup pal!”

Designated Hitter

Pat Burrell: 4 – “Oh my God the quarterback is toast!” – Burrell has not lived up to his nickname, or his salary for that matter. He was brought in to be a right handed power bat, and currently has 1 homerun. This homerun was in the home opener against the Yankees, April 13. For someone making $8,000,000 only to be a right handed power bat, that’s unacceptable. I think Burrell will get better as the year goes on, but until he starts hitting the ball into the stingray tank, he stays ranked a 4.


This is how John McClane, Hans Gruber, and I all see the team shaping up right now. Currently, there are a lot of 3’s-6’s, right around average. This seems quite perfect for a team that is currently 20-20. There are a few players such as Jason Bartlett, BJ Upton, and Ben Zobrist whose rankings will increase will most likely coincide with an increase in the team’s winning percentage. Hopefully this team just keeps getting smarter and stronger, just as John McClane did as Die Hard progressed. If they can, well then the Yankees, the Red Sox, and Hans Gruber need to be scared.

These are all just comparisons and rankings of one person, they aren’t rocket science.

-The Rocket Scientist

DO NOT JUDGE BY RESULTS!

Yesterday, we heard this out of the PA announcer: “Batting third, your pitcher, number 21, Andy Sonnanstine.” We should have heard this out of the PA announcer: “Batting third, your designated hitter, number 3, Evan Longoria.”

No freaking way. A pitcher was batting third. I think Sonnanstine said it best when he said that the last time he hit third was in little league. This is a major mistake. This is inexcusable.

“But wait, the Rays won, so who cares?” This is a question that is going to be asked to anyone who dare unleash on Joe Maddon. My response is this:

DO NOT JUDGE BY RESULTS!

The outcome of the game does not mask this glaring error in judgment. The fact that Sonnanstine picked Maddon up with a 2 out RBI double does not cover up the blunder. Even though the oversight happened when Sonnanstine, a career .385 hitter, was on the lineup card instead of Scott Kazmir, a career .125 hitter, this mistake is intolerable and should be treated this way. Hey Joe, were you drunk? Keep the bottles of wine for after the game, not before.

Joe Maddon has taken a bad rap for a few things this season. Many fans have blamed Maddon for losing a game to the Yankees when he shifted the outfielders in against Brett Gardner. Many called this act over-managing, too aggressive, and a mistake. To all of those people, I have to say that you are wrong.

DO NOT JUDGE BY RESULTS!

When Joe Maddon shifts the defense, he does it for a purpose. He has studied numbers, and knows that when Brett Gardner hits the ball into the outfield, he generally does not have the power to hit the ball past a drawn in outfielder. In this incident, he was managing to win. I will not blame a manager for being aggressive, even if the act causes the Rays to lose.

If I refuse to point the finger at Joe Maddon when he makes an aggressive decision and the Rays still lose, I have to point the finger at the manager if he makes a mistake in a win. Mental mistakes kill me, whether they are made by players or coaches. The players did their job yesterday, the manager did not. He owes the players big. I can only imagine the criticism Maddon would be receiving if the Rays had lost yesterday. I think that criticism should be the same, even after a win.

DO NOT JUDGE BY RESULTS!

The mental error is still the same. It’s a lineup card Joe, it’s not rocket science.

-The Rocket Scientist

GIVE ME ONE REASON...

....Why Carlos Pena had the night off Sunday.

There are some decisions Joe Maddon makes that are second guessed on a daily basis. The defensive shifts, the over-aggressive running, and the lack of bunting are standard topics on talk radio. I will never second guess a manager for being over-aggressive. When Joe Maddon played the numbers by bringing the outfield in and Brett Gardner got lucky and hit the ball over Carl Crawford’s head, then I praised Gardner for doing a good job at the plate rather than blame Maddon for making a mistake. Gardner exceeded his expectations, God bless him. In this case, the manager is doing his best to win the game and this move will work out more often than not in the long run.

For the life of me, I cannot understand why Carlos Pena had the night off Sunday night. I know his numbers against Beckett aren’t stellar. I know that the Rays are coming onto a stretch of 20 games in 20 days. Quite frankly, I don’t care. The Rays are a better team and have a better chance to win with Carlos Pena in the lineup.

Carlos Pena was coming into the game hitting .136 against Beckett, striking out 13 times in 22 at bats. However, Pena’s presence in the lineup means more than just his bat. Pena provides protection for Evan Longoria. Evan has been scary-good this year, and a very substantial reason is that the major league homerun leader is batting right behind him. Pitchers have to try to let Evan put the ball in play and create outs, rather than let another man on base for Pena to hit a bomb. Also, Pena is an everyday player because of his (gold) glove. He is one of the best first basemen in the American League. He is a very solid decision maker, and having him in the field saves runs. That was clearly shown by the mental lapses and the mediocre defense played by Willy Aybar at first Sunday night.

The Rays are coming upon a streak of 20 straight games. Before that streak starts, the Rays had a day off yesterday. In my mind, one of the most maddening and confusing things that Joe Maddon does is give starting players a day off on the day before a day off. These are professional baseball players, athletes who train on a daily basis throughout the year to be in the best shape possible. Why do they need 2 days off in a row? If Maddon wants to give players a scheduled day off in the middle of these 20 games, I agree with that. We all know he is going to do this anyway. I know the players get tired and sore playing that many games in a row, so give them a day off and let them rest up for the back end of the streak. I cannot fathom why on Earth Joe Maddon would give players a day off on the day before a day off. I have seen him do this a number of times with Jason Bartlett. Ask Cal Ripken Jr., the owner of the Charlotte Stone Crabs (Rays Class A minor league affiliate) how often he needed to rest during his streak of 2632 consecutive games.

It is Joe Maddon’s job to give the Rays the best possible chance to win. By putting Carlos Pena on the bench in a national TV game against the Red Sox, he failed. The Rays are a much better team with Carlos Pena in the lineup, rather than in the whirlpool. Anyone can figure that out, it’s not rocket science.

-The Rocket Scientist

What the Rocket Scientist Would Like To See Against the Sox

Here is a list of random things I would like to see in the series this weekend, in no particular order:

-Shields to pitch into the 8th inning tonight
-Shields to pitch a 1-2-3 first inning
-The Rays to own Lester the way they did in the ALCS
-A 1-2-3 inning for Percival to earn a save
-2 scoreless games from the bullpen
-Grant Balfour to find his fired up attitude from 2008, possibly cursing out a Sox player after a big strikeout
-Rocco Baldelli forgets what team he is on and runs out to right field in the bottom of the first
-Julio Lugo announces his retirement due to injury and retires as a Devil Ray
-A game where no one can 2nd guess a decision (cough, defensive shift, cough) made by Joe Maddon
-A game where we don't 2nd guess a decision on the base-paths made by a Rays player
-Ortiz to not hit a homerun
-Navarro to throw out 2 potential stealers
-Ortiz to have a hot dog eating contest with Navarro during the 7th inning stretch of Saturday’s game
-Pedroia to get 3 hits or less over 3 games
-Pedroia to retire after deciding he wants to ride Mine That Bird in the Preakness Stakes
-The good Scott Kazmir
-Kazmir throwing less than 20 pitches in the 1st inning
-2 starts for Ben Zobrist
-Many Ramirez and Roger Clemens in the crowd, makin’ it rain
-Carl Crawford robbing Jason Bay of a homerun by pulling one back that would have gone over the monster
-Jon Miller and Joe Morgan race around the base-paths instead of whatever sponsored race they do at Fenway
-The game to end Sunday night before “Family Guy” comes on here on the west coast (4 hours after the game starts)
-“Sweet Caroline” is replaced by “Feel the Heat Rays” or “Fins” by Jimmy Buffett
-Buckner to play 1st for a game for the Sox
-A fan grabs a foul ball away from Evan Longoria, and Longo says nothing. However, after Percy finishes up the save, he will look at the fan and yell “How ya like them apples? Bahhhhhhhhh”
-Another obscure rule reference, such as how Brian Shouse got the win last night instead of Dan Wheeler
-Pat Burrell hits 1 over the monster
-BJ to have a multi-hit game
-Brad Penny to attempt to accept a dare from a batboy to drink a gallon of milk before the game tonight
-Jonathan Papelbon doesn’t get a chance for a save
-Jonathan Papelbon gets rushed to the ER after getting alcohol poisoning from chugging Mike’s Hard Lemonade
-5 RBI’s for Longoria
-4 steals for Carl Crawford
-3 2 out RBI’s by the Rays 7-8-9 hitters
-2 HR’s for Pena
-“A Partridge in a Pear Tree”
-21 or more innings logged by Rays starting Pitchers
-16 or less innings logged by Sox starting pitchers
-Evan Longoria hits a Homerun and it is later discovered that his toe was bleeding from a hang nail. The sock he was wearing is immediately sent to the Hall of Fame.
-A 3 game sweep for the Rays (however I will be happy with 2 out of 3, beggars can’t be choosers)

I'm hoping all of these things happen. Come on Rays, you can make them happen. It's not like it's rocket scienice...

-The Rocket Scientist

How Much Confidence Does The Rocket Scientist Have In The Bullpen?

In 2007, when Joe Maddon came out to the mound and the game was within 3 runs either way, the game was over, the Rays were bound to lose.

In 2008, when Joe Maddon came out to the mound to relieve the pitcher and the Rays had a lead, it was a safe bet that the Rays would win.

In 2009, when Joe Maddon comes out to the mound to relieve a pitcher, the rocket scientist doesn’t feel entirely safe with a small lead, but still has some level of confidence in all of the pitchers in the Rays’ pen.

Below is a ranking system, from 1-10 and what the rankings mean, of how confident the rocket scientist is in a bullpen pitcher. Following that, the rocket scientist will go through each of the pitchers in the Rays’ bullpen and rank them.

1) “The Rudy Lugo” – You have no place pitching in a major league ballgame, period, end of story. Yes, the rocket scientist would rather have someone in the following ranking than you on the mound.

2) “The Nick Swisher” – May as well bring in an outfielder, as you are only good when the Rays are down by a large margin and have given up. This ranking is also known as the “Jose Canseco.”

3) “The Brian Stokes/Shawn Camp” – The rocket scientist shut the game off every time one of these 2 entered a game in 2007. The outcome was determined before either threw one pitch: chalk one up in the loss column.

4) “The New York Mets in September” – You have looked good for so long, you can get 2 outs in the 9th, and then a collapse is highly probable. Also known as “The Greg Norman in a major golf tournament.”

5) “The Cecelia” – “You’re breaking my heart; you’re shaking my confidence daily.” You were very good, and still show flashes of brilliance, but sometimes you are blowing a lead that you shouldn’t, and I am losing confidence in you quickly.

6) “The Sex Panther” – 60% of the time you pitch well….every time.

7) “The Al Reyes” – You are sufficient as a closer, for a last place team. You will get saves, even some saves with a 1 run lead. However’ if this team wants to get anywhere deep in October, you will not suffice as the closer. The Tampa Bay area hospitals also want to thank you for the extra patronage as you are good for a heart attack a week for Rays’ fans. (Author’s note: In order to fall into this category and not actually be Al Reyes, you also must pass the test of yelling the line “don’t tase me bro!”)

8) “The Rick Vaughn” – You are wild and will walk batters, but when you need to be called on for the big strikeout, you will produce. Just stick to throwing the heat.

9) “The Pocket Aces” – You hold up approximately 85% of the time against a random opponent, and because of that, the rocket scientist is willing to put a lot of money behind you.

10) “The late 90’s Mariano Rivera” – Lights out, enough said. (Author’s note: This pains the rocket scientist to give any props to the much hated Yankees. Let’s be honest here though and call it like it is, a spade is a spade. Rivera in the late 90’s was unhittable and was the single most reliable closer in baseball history.)

Now that the rankings 1-10 are established, it is time to look at how each of the Rays relief pitchers fall into these rankings.

Grant Balfour – 8, “The Rick Vaughn” – Balfour has not had the same velocity fastball as he had last year. Balfour has been wild and erratic with his pitches. However, if the bases were loaded with 1 out and you needed someone to throw a strikeout, Balfour is the best bet to dial it up a notch and get the k.

Lance Cormier – 6, “The Sex Panther” – The rocket scientist thinks this may be a little high for Cormier since he is yet to pitch in a pressure-packed situation, however he is filling his role as long reliever nicely and knows he can eat up innings.

J.P. Howell – 5, “The Cecelia” – Oh J.P. Howell, you’re breaking my heart by not pitching as well as you did last season when you were in the running for team MVP, and you’re shaking my confidence daily by giving up late leads.

Joe Nelson – 9, “The Pocket Aces” – Nelson has only given up meaningful runs in 1 appearance out of a total of 12 trips to the mound. The 2 run homerun against Baltimore hurt, but those will happen, and the rocket scientist still would bet on Nelson pulling through 85% of the time.

Troy Percival – 7, “The Al Reyes” – Don’t look now, but Troy Percival has actually done pretty well in his last few appearances. He has recorded saves in his last 3 trips to the mound, and has not blown a save yet. However, Troy still makes the rocket scientist cringe every time he throws a pitch. He is not the dominant fire-baller that he used to be. The rocket scientist wishes he had even more confidence in the Rays closer, especially in September/October. A 7 won’t get it done in the playoffs. A championship caliber closer should be a 9 or a 10 on this confidence scale.

Brian Shouse vs. Lefties – 9, “The Pocket Aces” – Lefties are hitting .150 against Shouse, or in other words, Shouse gets lefties out 85% of the time.

Brian Shouse vs. Righties – 1, “The Rudy Lugo” – This situation should never happen, period, end of story. Righties are hitting .421 against Shouse. If it is a close game, Maddon should know better than to take this chance (again) and has better options. If the game is out of reach, put Willy Aybar in to pitch so you can end the game and put the rocket scientist out of his misery for the night.

Dan Wheeler – 4, “The New York Mets in September” – Despite Wheeler’s numbers, he has looked decent so far this season. His 7 runs allowed have come in 2 of his 7 appearances though. Just as Wheeler seems to be heating up, he seems due for a melt down of epic proportions sometime soon. For that reason, the Rocket Scientist doesn’t have a ton of faith in Dan Wheeler.

Overall, the rocket scientist feels an average level of confidence in the bullpen. If the Rays want to be competitive in October, that level needs to rise, especially with the way Joe Maddon likes to use his bullpen. These are just one man’s thoughts on the bullpen for now. Those can change quickly since they are feelings, not rocket science.

-The Rocket Scientist

Breaking Out (Of a Slump) Is Hard To Do

In the Family Guy episode titled “Breaking Out Is Hard To Do,” Lois Griffin goes on a shoplifting spree, leading to her imprisonment, her family breaking her out of prison, a wacky police chase that only Seth McFarlane could imagine, and eventually her freedom. If BJ Upton can follow the basics of this plot, he can break himself out of his slump and regain his proverbial “freedom” as a stud ballplayer.

We can all agree that for the majority of the season, BJ Upton has been a ghost at the plate. No, I do not think that a pencil sketched guy has grabbed him from behind the milk cartons, turned BJ into a pencil sketch, and is making him dance repeatedly to “Take on Me.” BJ has just been off his game, horribly. The fact that he can’t find his timing has been a major quagmire that is plaguing the organization. Like Lois, BJ has been stealing. However, it is not bases that BJ has been stealing, having only stolen 6 bases so far this season. BJ has been stealing wins from the team and sanity from the fans. He is striking out at an alarming rate of once every 3 at bats, which is terrible for a leadoff hitter, and has an on base percentage of .276 which is even worse. The timing of his swing has been a quagmire that has been plaguing the entire organization and its fan-base.

These numbers have put BJ Upton into the fans’ prison, also known as our doghouse. Although he is not “on notice” on this site, fans are losing their faith and writers are starting to question if he should be moved down in the lineup. Having an 0-20 skid can and does warrant this kind of unrest. Hey BJ, look out; Officer Joe Swanson and the rest of the Rays fans have placed you in the jail of their minds. While Lois was in prison, the entire Griffin family fell apart. During BJ’s slump, the Rays just can’t seem to get going. The leadoff hitter needs to set the tone for every game on offense. BJ’s hitting had left Carl Crawford with just mustard on his own shoulder to eat, Peter Griffin style.

However there is hope. Just as Peter snuck Lois out of prison in his mouth, Joe Maddon may have bailed out BJ Upton using his mouth. He spoke confidently about BJ, telling the team and fans to be patient. Maddon even said that he would not drop Upton from the leadoff spot.

With the manager’s vote of confidence, it is now time that Upton gains his own freedom and busts out of this slump. For the last few games, he has been on a wild chase to find his timing. Sometimes, he has looked so bad that his swing stunk worse than the sewer that the Griffin family ends up in. It would have taken a lot more than the Goonies to give him any sort of direction. Other times, it has looked like he was in the clear, hitting the ball hard but straight at a defender. Either way, he was 0-20.

While Lois was able to step around Joe’s oncoming wheelchair, BJ was able to step into a 7th inning, 2 out pitch and land it in left field for a go-ahead RBI double. As we all know by now, the Rays never looked back and won last nights game 6-3. All it takes is 1 break to return things to normal. Maybe this was the break that BJ needed.

Has BJ broken out of his slump? We will have to wait and see. However, if the Griffin family could return to normal after all they went through in this episode, perhaps with this one hit, I am optimistic that BJ Upton could return to normal as well. As the saying goes, “Breaking Out Is Hard To Do.” After following the storyline by stealing the fans’ sanity and wins from the team, being placed in the prison of the fans’ minds, getting a vote of confidence out of the mouth of Joe Maddon, and chasing after a hit, I believe BJ Upton has broken out of the slump and returned to the player with a career on base percentage of .362. BJ needs to continue to show everyone and make us all believers. For BJ to truly be back, the hits need to continue to show up on a consistent basis, the stolen bases need to happen more often, and the strikeouts need to drastically drop. Everyone involved with the Rays and who watches the Rays play will know when BJ Upton is back to his normal self, as knowing when BJ Upton is playing to his full potential is not rocket science.

-The Rocket Scientist

A Maddon-esque Approach to James Shields’ Next Start

I have an idea that is far-fetched, unconventional, and inconceivable. It would be a strategic move based on numbers, but goes against all sorts of baseball tradition and common sense. In fact, this idea is so crazy that Joe Maddon might actually consider making this happen if he reads this. Are you reading Joe? Here it comes.

In James Shields’ next scheduled appearance, start a reliever, and bring Shields in for the 2nd inning.

This could the wildest approach imaginable to an outing by not just any starting pitcher, but the Rays ace. This would be equivalent to the Colts trotting out Jim Sorgi for the first drive of the game, just to replace him with Peyton Manning for the rest of the game.

There is a method to this madness, however, that would actually peak Joe Maddon’s interest. Like I said earlier, this idea is based on numbers and trends on his last 3 starts.

4/23 @ Sea: Shields gave up a leadoff homerun to Ichiro. He then pitched 7.1 innings of scoreless ball, giving up only 3 more hits. Shields got the loss.

4/28 @ Min: Shields gave up a 2 run homerun in the 1st to Justin Morneau. It’s then the 6th inning before he gave up another run, hitting a batter to force a runner home. He lasted 6.2, giving up a total of 7 hits and 4 walks. Shields got a no decision.

5/3 vs. Bos: Shields struggled through the 1st, giving up a bases loaded single to JD Drew and pitching over 30 pitches in the 1st. He gets out of the inning allowing only 1 run. He was credited for 2 runs allowed when JP Howell gave up a 2 out, 2 run homerun to Kevin Youkilis, allowing an inherited runner to score in the 8th. Shields pitched 7.1 allowing 6 hits, 3 of which were in the 1st. Shields got the much deserved win.

Going by these totals, 4 out of the 5 runs scored (80%) while Shields was in the game came in the first inning. In the first 2 out of these 3 games, the Rays lost by 1 run. If the Rays were to have started a shutdown reliever and this reliever were to do his job of getting a scoreless first, then the Rays would be in a better position in late innings of these games, either tied or in the lead. I am not sure what it is about Shields that makes him shaky in the 1st inning, but based on the numbers he pitches much better as the game goes on. There seems to be a simple solution, which is to avoid the problem inning.

Shields also pitches late into ballgames. The way he eats innings, Shields could easily get into the 8th, where Maddon can matchup righty and lefty relievers. Additionally, Shields has pretty good splits, looking great against righties (.205 batting average) and pitching decently against lefties (.267 batting average). If his pitch count were low enough, Maddon could keep Shields in the ballgame through the 8th easily, setting the game up for closer (aka heart-attack in waiting) Troy Percival.

I know this will never happen, nor should it. Then again, with Joe Maddon at the helm, if he reads this blog, you never know. Joe Maddon loves the unconventional and this idea is exactly that. Based on the numbers, this could have been the difference in 2 games this season. Why not give it a shot Joe? Come on, bring out a relief pitcher in the 1st inning and bring in Shields to pitch the 2nd through the 8th. You know you want to. It’s baseball statistics, not rocket science.

-The Rocket Scientist

Hot Start for Bart

Jason Bartlett was brought to the 2008 Rays to fix a gaping hole in the defense, but could he be the spark that the 2009 Rays need on offense?

I will be the first to admit, when Jason Bartlett was named team MVP last season, I just looked up and said “really?” I then looked at the team as a whole, and realized that Jason Bartlett truly is the anchor of this team. He plays selfless, team baseball with solid fundamentals. His defense allows pitchers to throw more balls that can be hit in play, and allows pitchers to trust the defense, a key to winning baseball. Without Jason Bartlett in the field, the 2008 Rays do not make the World Series, or maybe even the playoffs.

However, in 2008 I saw Bartlett as the perfect 9 hitter. He would make contact, steal some bases (thanks again Jason for the free taco when you stole a base in the World Series), and get productive outs. He had a batting average of .286, an on base percentage of .329, and added 1 homerun. He looked like a contact hitter who could get singles, but only had warning track power.

In 2009, we have seen a different Jason Bartlett at the plate. Although the season is still very early, there are some stats that really stand out. First off, Bartlett’s batting average is up to .371, and his on base percentage is up to .413. Although I expect his batting average to drop to the mid .300’s as the season goes on, Bartlett will take more walks and his on base percentage could easily stay close to where it is. He is also striking out a lot less this season. Last season, Bartlett struck out once in every 6.57 at bats. This season, Bartlett has struck out once in every 8.57 at bats. And of course, the most glaring increase of all comes in the form of homeruns. Bartlett has tripled his homerun total from last season, and we are still in April. Prior to this season, Bartlett had 11 career homeruns. He is right now on pace for about 24 this year. Additionally, I would like to point out that Bartlett currently has 3 times as many homeruns as Pat the Patient.

So why is it that Bartlett has improved so much at the plate so far this season? For starters, he is a year older and a year wiser. Jason is a very smart guy, so as he gets older he will be continuously learning these pitchers even better. Over time, it is inevitable that Bartlett will be able to predict pitches better, hit the pitches he wants, and make better contact. This also relates to the reason that he is striking out less. Bartlett is picking the pitches he wants and waiting on pitchers to make a mistake. He is finding pitches he can drive, rather than just trying to put the ball in play. The second, and most important reason, is that Jason seems hungrier. Last year, the Rays played in the World Series. Success will get to some players’ heads, where it will drive other players want it more. Bartlett clearly wants to lead the Rays back to the Fall Classic. You can tell how hard he worked this offseason to be ready for 2009. You can see in his eyes when he steps up to the plate just how focused he is. You can just tell that Jason wants the Rays to win.

If Jason Bartlett can keep up this hot pace, he will have a big hand in turning this team around and leading the Rays back to October. Jason Bartlett is proving why he was the team MVP in 2008 and why he is already the lead candidate in my mind to be the team MVP in 2009. It does not take a rocket scientist to see this.

-the rocket scientist

The 2009 Rays Look a Lot Like…The Indians?

First off, I never introduced myself. I am The Rocket Scientist. Why do I call myself that? Well, it’s because I am a rocket scientist. Beyond being a rocket scientist though, sports are my passion. I am a die hard fan of any professional team that plays in the Tampa Bay area (Rays, Bucs, Lightning, Storm, and I will admit I even went to a Mutiny game once). I grew up in Clearwater. The Devil Rays started playing games during my freshman year of high school, and I became a fan immediately. I went to the University of Michigan for college (go blue) and came back to the University of Florida for graduate school (go gators as well). Both of my degrees are in Aerospace Engineering, thus actually being a rocket scientist. After finishing graduate school, I moved to Los Angeles for my job. I quickly discovered how amazing the DirecTV MLB Extra Innings package is, and I wonder how I ever lived without Extra Innings and NFL Sunday Ticket. Every day after work I race home to watch the Rays play, and have loved attending Rays-Angels games the last 2 seasons. It is an honor to be able to write about one of the teams that I love, and I am really happy to be a part of the RaysTheStakes team. Feel the heat!

Now on with our regularly scheduled program…

I think we can all admit that this team has been struggling. I will be the first one to say that I haven’t pressed the panic button, but after this weekend I broke the glass to get to the panic button. Things just are not clicking on a consistent basis. Hitters aren’t hitting, pitchers are walking batters, and fielders are making mental mistakes. This is not the same Rays team that we all saw on the field last season.

I have seen comparisons to the Rockies of last year, or even that this team shows shades of the 2007 Rays, but this morning I realized who the 2009 Rays look like.

The 2009 Rays look exactly like the Cleveland Indians in "Major League 2."

In "Major League," the Indians took the American League by storm in the second half of the season. They won enough games to tie the Yankees for the division lead, and then edged their rivals out in a playoff. In the sequel, they showed up to spring training completely full of themselves and with a lost passion for the game. The team was just going through the motions day after day. They would win a game here or there, but would lose series after series. There were mental mistakes, excuses, and no desire to win.
There are also player comparisons that I have noticed. They are as follows:

Pat Burrell as Jack Parkman – Jack Parkman was the high priced free agent and homerun hitter. “When he does his little shimmy, it drives all the girls crazy.” In his first home game, he hits a solo homerun. After that, he isn’t shown hitting another homerun for the Indians. Although Pat Burrell has been a solid team player, he isn’t hitting up to his potential. He is still stuck on 1 homerun for the season, a solo shot that he hit in a blowout. Now, to be fair, it is not like pitchers have to fear players hitting behind him, players such as Zobrist, Gross, Kapler, or Navarro. Burrell has taken his fair share of walks and is getting on base. However, he needs to find his pop. He was brought in to help the Rays beat left handed starters. The Rays are 0 for the season against lefties so far.

Dionner Navarro as Rube Baker – Rube Baker was the catcher who couldn’t accurately throw the ball back to the pitcher. Although this seems like a trivial task, Rube had the inability to focus. Although I have seen some improvement over Navarro since I wrote the piece about him last week, I still do not think his head is where it needs to be. His passed ball yesterday was an example of this, and Brian Anderson did a very good job calling Navi out on this. I think the team needs to get Navi some magazines (if you have seen the movie, you know what magazines I am talking about) to read so he can start catching and hitting up to his potential.

Evan Longoria as Pedro Cerrano – Pedro Cerrano was the power hitter who couldn’t hit a curve ball. When he was hot, he would crush the ball. When he was cold, he would strikeout every time he got to the plate. Evan started off the season as the hottest hitter in baseball. There was a death in his family, and since his return, his bat has gone colder. He has zero homeruns since his return to the team. Although Evan hasn’t been ice-cold and he does have a few big hits in the Rays few wins, he is not hitting to his potential and is hitting into untimely double plays and strikeouts in the Rays losses. The Rays would be doing a lot better if Evan were to “find his marbles.”

BJ Upton as Willie Mays Hayes – Willie Mays Hayes was the speedy leadoff hitter and centerfielder who decided he wanted to learn how to hit for power in between the first and second movies. In the first game of the season, Willie calls his shot 3 times, hits all 3 balls to the warning track, where they are caught. Willie also had a nagging “leg injury” that he would use an excuse for everything. BJ Upton is the Rays leadoff hitter who is swinging too hard, and thus went 0 for the weekend. He has been hitting the ball a bit more solid, but still not getting on base. As a leadoff hitter, it is his role to work the count, find a way to get on base, and put the team in a position to score a run early in the ballgame. He did this quite well in the first game against the Yankees, but since he seems to be swinging too hard for the fences and not just trying to get himself on base.

Matt Garza as Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn – Rick Vaughn was the starting pitcher who was downright nasty in the first movie. His fastball was unhittable. In the sequel, Vaughn took a few mph off his fastball and started thinking long term about his career. He tried to mix more pitches with his so called “terminator” and they all get crushed out of the park. Matt Garza is having the same problems. He has lost some velocity and control. His pitches are getting smashed regularly. If his arm is still dead from working late into last season, he needs to rest and be ready for later in this season. If his arm is alive, he needs to have better control and keep the ball in the park.

Joe Maddon as Lou Brown – Lou Brown was the coach of the Indians. He had fire to him, but never really got mad. He had the inspirational idea in the original Major League of winning it all to spite the owner. In the sequel, he finally got mad at the team, leading to a heart attack. Well, Joe hasn’t blown a gasket yet. He may need to soon though to light a fire under this team.

The Crowd at Tropicana Field as Randy Quaid, Rabid Fan – Randy Quaid plays a crazy fan with season tickets who believe the Indians will win the World Series before opening day. Once the season starts and the Indians lose their first game, he immediately turns on the team, telling the team how much they suck (among other insults not suitable for posting). Well, I know how fans in the Tampa Bay area can get. If the Rays start losing often, then we may see the return of 10,000 people a night.

I know this comparison makes it look like I am really down on the Rays. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Like I said earlier, I haven’t pressed the panic button yet. There is a silver lining to the Rays being like the Indians in "Major League 2." After manager Lou Brown has his heart attack and the old owner buys back the team, the team finds their passion for the game. Parkman gets traded, Rube can throw the ball to the pitcher, Willie gets on base and steals 2nd, 3rd, and home, Vaughn comes out of the bullpen to strike Parkman out, and even Randy Quaid gets back behind the team. But beyond these few players turning it around, the thing that keeps my hopes up is the end result. The Indians make it back to the World Series.

Something needs to change. This change needs to happen before it’s too late. Maybe it’s time that Joe Maddon has a very serious talk with the Rays about getting on the right track, hopefully without having a heart attack. The other option is for Vince Naimoli to buy the team back. I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out which option is better.

-the rocket scientist

A Mock Draft...Why Not?

It seems as though everybody and their mother now has their own version of what will happen in the 1st round of the NFL draft. I decided I would take a crack at one. This mock draft has a twist though: the teams drafting can only pick Rays players, coaches, and front office. In this dream world, here is how I see it playing out.

1) Detroit Lions - BJ Upton
He can run and he sure can catch. He would be the ultimate NFL wide receiver, and we all know the Lions love for receivers. BJ gets the first overall pick (and the 94 bajillion dollars that comes with it)

2) St. Louis Rams - Jason Bartlett
The Rams need an offensive tackle, but they also need defense. They were 28th in team defense last season. Bartlett can cover a good portion of the field, and should shore up some of their woes.

3) Kansas City Chiefs - Dionner Navarro
The Chiefs just traded their stud tight end, and Navavrro is the player on the Rays built closest to a tight end.

4) Seattle Seahawks - James Shields
It's about time for the Seahawks to find the replacement for Matt Hasselbeck. Shields is the best "quarterback" on my big board, so he is the first selected.

5) Cleveland Browns - Andrew Friedman
The Browns are a mess. They are starting over with the Men-genius as head coach, but have traded away Kellen Winslow and are talking about trading Braylon Edwards and Brady Quinn. This is a team that seemed to be going in the right direction 2 years ago. They need a makeover from the top down, and Andrew can get that process started.

6) Cincinnati Bengals - Jim Hickey
Jim Hickey is the only member of the Rays that has been arrested. It's the Bengals pick. Do I really need to explain this one? (Author's note: This is the first time I have ever said to myself "Man I wish Elijah Dukes was still on the Rays")

7) Oakland Raiders - Pat Burrell
Al Davis loves to go after homerun hitters, even if they can't play defense. Seems like the perfect fit to me.

8) Jacksonville Jaguars - Andy Sonnanstine
This is the second team that really could use a new arm. The Jags also really need some stability. Although Matt Garza would add more fire and flash, Andy Sonnanstine just gets the job done repeatedly and seems like a good fit.

9) Green Bay Packers - Gabe Kapler
He played in Wisconsin last year for the Brewers. The cheese-heads are very fond of all of their players, current and past. Please take him back?

10) San Fransisco 49ers - J.P. Howell
The 49ers started the season 2-1 and then won 5 of their last 7, but it's those middle stages that killed them. J.P. Howell has proven he can really help out in middle stages when the team gets in trouble.

11) Buffalo Bills - Matt Garza
The Bills added Terrell Owens in this off-season. All the Bills need now is someone who can throw perfect passes for him to drop.

12) Denver Broncos - Carl Crawford
Jay Cutler cried and cried when his name started to be thrown around in trade rumors, eventually forcing himself out of town. CC didn't say a word when he was playing the perennial last place Devil Rays. Denver could use someone with that much loyalty.

13) Washington Redskins - Carlos Pena
The Redskins like to pick up high priced talent. Sometimes they hit a homerun, other times they strikeout, just like Carlos Pena.

14) New Orleans Saints - Gabe Gross
The Saints are another team in need of defense to close out games. Gabe Gross can come in late as the perfect defensive replacement.

15) Houston Texans - Troy Percival
The Texans have lost multiple late leads over the last 2 seasons. They need someone who can help them close out a game. Although he is good for a heart attack every other game he pitches, Troy Percival is the closer so he gets the call.

16) San Diego Chargers - Lance Cormier
The Chargers also struggled through the middle of the season, at one point losing 5 out of 6. In terms of a football season, that is a long time to be struggling. They can really use a long releiver to stop the bleeding.

17) New York Jets - Scott Kazmir
Kellen Clemens is not going to cut it as quarterback in New York. The Jets need a young fireballer whose velocity can rival the speed of the ball of Brett Favre. And well, I just love the irony of a team from New York drafting Scott Kazmir. Maybe in a year, before he reaches his full potential, the Jets can trade him for a stud like Rex Grossman or Vince Young. Cue: Jets fans booing.

18) Denver Broncos - Grant Balfour
The Broncos collapsed over the last 4 games of the season, and Balfour is the guy who comes in late in games to get the team out of a jam. If the Broncos had Grant Balfour last year, maybe they would have won any of their final 3 games and won the AFC West.

19) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Evan Longoria
The Glazers are in financial trouble, and the team didn't help their cause by cutting the fan favorite in Derrick Brooks. The Bucs need to add another fan favorite, but keep him for a long time under market value so they can afford him. Evan Longoria is the perfect fit. Besides, don't you all want to see Evan stay here in Tampa Bay?

20) Detroit Lions - Matt Silverman
This franchise is a wreck. They fired Matt Millen, who kept this team in such disarray that the Lions became the first 0-16 team in NFL history. Who replaced Matt Millen? His assistant, Martin Mayhew. You would think the Lions would clean house to fix all of their problems from the top down, but they hired from within, which just makes me think they have even more problems. It's time for a new team president. Matt Silverman, good luck.

21) Philadelphia Eagles - Jeff Niemman
I feel like every year, the Eagles have been talking about finding the replacement for Donavan McNabb, even if McNabb is still in his prime. Niemman has gotten his seasoning with a few years in the minors, and is ready to take over as a starter as he proved in spring training. Philly, here is your future QB.

22) Minnesota Vikings - Joe Nelson
The Vikings did a good job to win the NFC North last season, but then couldn't hack it in the playoffs, losing to the Eagles 26-14. They need that late help to get over the top. Joe Nelson is the guy for the job.

23) New England Patriots - Joe Maddon
Bill Belichick is one of the best coaches in the NFL, so I would see Joe Maddon going to the Patriots to be his assistant. Maddon would help the Patriots get even more of a tactical advantage in the way he manages games. Maddon would also be able to teach Belichick some class and how to dress. Seriously, is there anyone else in this country that wears cut-off hoodies?

24) Atlanta Falcons - Akinori Iwamura
The Falcons surprised a lot of people last year with a run to the playoffs. Their offense really clicked down the stretch, and they just added another major weapon in Tony Gonzalez. However, the Falcons finished 24th in team defense last season. As the saying goes, defense wins championships. Aki has proven he can fill in at multiple positions and will play great defense, which is exactly what Atlanta needs.

25) Miami Dolphins - Willy Aybar
Bill Parcells always finds a way to put versatile players on the field without over-paying. He can squeeze the most out of all of his utility players, and that his why his teams are always around in January. Willy Aybar is the super utility player that Parcells loves.

26) Baltimore Ravens - Ben Zobrist
The Ravens always seem to find that offensive player who comes out of nowhere. He won't be a pro-bowler, but he will do enough to help the team win multiple games throughout a season. Ben Zobrist fits the bill.

27) Indianapolis Colts - Don Zimmer
Tony Dungy retired this off-season after an incredible coaching career. His replacement, Jim Caldwell, has zero head coaching experience at the NFL level. He needs a right-hand-man who can help him garner respect and teach younger players anything and everything about the game. That job description screams Don Zimmer.

28) Buffalo Bills - Brian Shouse
The Bills started last season 5-1, and then the downfall started by getting completely owned by the Dolphins and Ted Ginn Jr. The Bills needed that stopper to come in and just get that 1 guy out. Shouse's role is to get 1 or 2 people out, so the Bills could use someone like this.

29) New York Giants - Shawn Riggans
The Giants lost a guy who catches a lot when Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg. It is tough to find someone who can fill in and start at that level at this point in the draft. Instead, the Giants will take Riggans, a young guy who can catch, and who can learn for a year or 2 before stepping up and becoming the starter.

30) Tennessee Titans - David Price
The Titans had an excellent season in 2008, finishing 13-3. The Titans couldn't get it done in the playoffs, losing their first game to Baltimore. David Price came up to the show last season just in time for the playoffs, and just in time to lead the Rays to play for the championship. The Titans need a young player like Price who can show up in the playoffs and help get them to the Super Bowl.

31) Arizona Cardinals - Dan Wheeler
The Cardinals shocked the world by playing in the Super Bowl last season. They shocked everyone even more by holding a late lead against the Steelers. The Cardinals however were unable to hold onto this lead. Dan Wheeler was 2nd in the AL in holds in 2008. If Dan Wheeler had been on the Cardinals last season, maybe they would have been champions?

32) Pittsburgh Steelers - Stuart Sternberg
The Steelers ownership is a mess and has caused so many family issues with the Rooney's Why not fix it by giving them a new owner? They are the current champions, so its not like they need any help on the field.

That is my mock 2009 mock draft, with the condition that Rays players and staff can be drafted. Since everyone else has done a mock draft and they will all be wrong, I have realized it doesn't take a rocket scientist to complete a mock draft.

-the rocket scientist